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In vino veritas, or as one boozing buddy once said – at the bottom lies the truth. And it seems that with the onset of sobriety, all the last bits of my creativity have vanished without a trace. So let’s try putting the puzzle together and summarise our previous teambuilding in at least a couple of sentences. By our, I mean the second-floor department, and by a couple of sentences, I certainly mean more than a couple – a couple is two, right?

Year after year, article after article, I hope I don’t have to write that our teambuilding is a reward for our hard work, sweet fruit for a great deal of our constant effort, or a temporary replacement of coffee intoxication by grape derivatives. And lo and behold, I’m writing about it anyway. I have to. Now that you know that, remember, I won’t mention it anymore. Where? Where did we go this year? Albeit a little further afield but with fewer cars; hence, our carbon footprint remained unchanged. Orava. We went to Orava. To Orava with the motto – less tourism and more … actually just less tourism. The offer from Orava Háj came to us automatically via email, thanks to the power of the Internet. We looked at it, considered it carefully, and didn’t have to look any further. This year’s event organiser was Zuzka, who gave it her all. She arranged everything, created a questionnaire to select activities, and learned what blood, sweat, and tears mean. Ultimately, she couldn’t turn up alone. Well, man proposes, God disposes!

Departure at eight o’clock. Then a stop at Levoča for the BEACH: Best Experience Amplified with Coffee and Hot dogs, or Bulky Elf Angered about Cooking at Home. It’s up to you. And now just think how difficult for me was to think of an subsitutes of the words used in the slovak article. Sigh… but it’s on me and me only.  I’ll do it straightaway — the trip started well; the journey was without any GPS problems and with our stomachs already grumbling by the end. After all, it was twelve o’clock, and we still hadn’t had lunch. Everything was sorted out quickly afterwards, and although I’d love to mention a fine welcome drink, I won’t. Go there and taste it for yourself.

After lunch, a short nap, and a shower came the time for various activities. Now follow that thrilling one-sentence account of all we did: we horsed our bottoms off, rang on boats, fished for a floating dinner, found out if the Internet was faster underwater, tossed around our lucky charms, and two of us found a bottle of wine for the others. However, this one only fit in with the five other bottles whose bouquet, sweetness, and aroma we had previously discovered at a wine tasting at the local cellar. This time, a seriously professional sommelier poured us wine. But from what he said about needing neither training nor school to do wine tasting, it sounded like he was just a sophisticated alcoholic. Well, everything was in moderation, and once again, it was time to swap liquids for dinner.

Dinner came in handy for our wine-dry throats. Indeed, any food comes in handy after drinking, #stillhungry. We munched on all goodies and almost forgot about our fish catches. Well, not entirely, and here we go with them, Mr Chef. And throw in some grilled veggies. Hoping no hook was left in, we still had a desperate craving for them. But what about that last fish that no longer had room in our stomachs? Did they pack it away for us? No. Do you think they ate it in the kitchen while it was still warm? Maybe. Well, hopefully, they didn’t throw it away after all.

The digestive process started slowly, and for a while, we didn’t even realise that getting up from the chairs was possible. All in all, we’d booked the games room, so why were we still there? I was the first to figure it out, and as soon as I checked that the room was real and not life-threatening, the rest of the group found the strength to move too. Apparently, not everyone had the same appetite to move their butt as I did, but there were some. Table football was replaced by table tennis and billiards. It is also a table game because it is played on a kind of table. The table “sports” balance was set by table seating over beer and wine, preferably with both. And, as with such sessions, you’ll spend hours there even though the time drags on. It doesn’t, though, when there’s something to talk about and the conversation is meaningful. Professor Slughorn would surely disagree (only the chosen few know). Sips alternated with decilitres and decilitres with bottles. But still engaged in conversation and lost in time, we had a great time. This is how the evening passed in the blink of an eye.

Morning. Morning for those to whom sleep is sacred and noon for tourists. Why sleep when you can drive sleeplessly to see the sunrise when it’s completely overcast? At least, they were entertained by roaming cattle. But still, we all had something to deal with. So, for example, I locked the car after getting out, then unlocked it to make sure I’d locked it again.

Anyway, after breakfast, a second breakfast, and then energised by cups of coffee, we decided to visit Orava Castle. It’s hundreds of steps leading up to the gloomy chambers of this well-preserved colossus. It would all be great; one sees new things, admires the architecture, and soaks up the historical aftertaste of the Middle Ages. Still, it’s hard to walk when we’re what? When we’re hungry. The short-term hunger was satisfied by cheese noodles circulating in the car, and the long-term one by lunch at the Likava cottage. And after that? Well, nothing after that, wasn’t it enough? At most, in my case, the transport of four swaying heads falling into limbo back to Košice. Nothing compares to the quiet three-hour journey home with no single word in the car, especially if the driver himself badly wants to fall asleep too. Listening to the white noise. Listening to the rain, I was mesmerised by the drops of water splashing against the windshield. Good night.

The article was written by

Róbert Jakab

Robert is like a moving photograph – because he is like a video. He can capture 60 frames per second. Whenever something happens, he records it. Currently, he’s working on smaller videos and hoping to make a feature film one day and then its sequel. Telegrafia 2: Monkey Power